Musings and scribblings

19. Oct, 2018

I have recently joined a social media app called shapr, which is a blend between linkedin and Tinder. You have to swipe left or right depending on your interest in connecting with working people. It's been very useful so far, I have made connections with a variety of different people such as a magician, a digital media business owner and a translator. 

Early days but hopefully something exciting will come from it for me. 

1. Jun, 2018

There has been a lot written in the wake of Roseanne Barr's racist tweets which resulted in the cancellation of her programme. She has claimed that it was a joke which went too far, and that she regrets it now, but I'm sorry I don't believe that. I obviously don't know anything of the circumstances in which she sent the tweet out, whether she was chemically altered as she claimed, citing Ambien as a cause behind it, but I doubt that a woman who has been in the public eye for as long as she has been would have been unaware of the potential consquences of revealing her racist tendencies to the wider public. 

I don't know if she genuinely believes in comparing black people to apes, but regardless it's a old fashioned and hurtful position to take, especially for a woman in her position. I know that she is a Trump supporter, and might share some of the views that he has revealed in terms of other nationalities, but it was still a surprise to hear. 

I have not heard such a comparison in many years, and even then it had come from a child. You can understand and forgive such a mindset in a child, given that most of their view points have come from adults that surround them. However it's impossible for me to forgive the same view point when coming from a fully grown adult who has the platform to influence a wide range of people. There is enough hatred and mistrust of those who look different from us in the world at the moment, the last thing that we need as a global society is people causing more division. 

Trump's version of America seems to be shifting relentlessly into a place where it is acceptable to be overtly racist and abusive towards anyone who doesn't resemble you physically, or that doesn't share your personal views. It's a great shame for those that had worked alongside Roseanne Barr on the programme, as obviously all the cast and crew will have to find new positions regardless of whether they were actively against her racist point of view or not. 

19. May, 2018

The Royal wedding is obviously a great day for those that actually know Prince Harry and Meghan Markle on a personal level, but it's been a great day for me too. 

It's refreshing to have a day where the majority of the news is about how much a couple love each other, after all of the negative events happening in the world right now. What with the issues of Brexit, the Paris Agreement, Windrush scandal, the Iran deal and other things that can inspire hatred and fear. 

I have felt a sympathy and empathy for Prince William and Prince Harry ever since the tragic loss of their mother, and can still remember clearly watching the two of them walking alongside their grandfather, uncle and father behind their mother's coffin, while photographs were taken. I was only fifteen at the time, and didn't fully understand why they had to do that, and being in awe of them for being able to find the strength. I couldn't imagine losing my mother, and wondered how the brothers would heal from such a loss. 

I was glad to see the unfolding of Kate Middleton's relationship with Prince William, and was one of the many who rejoiced in their wedding. That he had found someone to share a committed and loving relationship with him, after suffering that loss. 

I know that a lot of people were hopeful that Prince Harry would find the same, and this day has proven that he has found someone who shares his sensibilities and priorities, as well as the fact of a deep love existing between them. I'm just going by the looks that have been recorded as passing between them, ever since their first official outing before the press. 

It was lovely to see the blending of the couple's different cultural influences such as the Archbishop of Canterbury and the head of the Episcopal church giving the service. There was a definite difference in the way that they presented themselves and their religious beliefs, but I personally found the Episcopal preacher's sermon to be inspiring and powerful. 

It was refreshing to see guests and performers who were other than white as well. As a mixed race woman, I have never seen so many faces who share my skin tone and that of my father's participating in and attending a Royal wedding. 

17. May, 2018

Theresa May has finally announced that she and her government will be releasing 400 million in funds to assist councils in removing dangerous cladding of the type that contributed to the horrific fire at Grenfell. It's a positive step in a lot of ways, but I, and many people are questioning whether the amount will actually be enough for all of the affected towers to have the work done. 

Another question is why has had it taken so long for this to happen? The residents who survived have been pleading for something to be done for months, and most recently were left disappointed by Theresa May's reaction when she met with them. One of the people she met with actually referred to her as 'being on another planet'. 


12. May, 2018

I had never heard of Scott or his band before the news broke yesterday of his passing. I can however relate to him a little bit, obviously I didn't know anything of his personal struggle apart from what has been related by those that knew him over twitter.  Everyone who battles with depression and mental illness has their own story, and experiences that might have led them to that point. He seems to have been able to use his own experiences to help others, reaching them through the band's success. 

I obviously can't speak for anyone else, as you can never truly know what is happening inside someone. Even if they confide in you, there will be some things that they can not relate or verbalise to anyone. I know that for myself, I attempt to help people to keep myself connected to the world. The depression that I feel is very isolating, and I have to try even harder because I have never been the most communicative person. I have been a insular person since childhood, and have never really been able to break out of that, despite my siblings being very talkative people who try to get everyone in the family talking all the time. 

I have been dealing with my own depressive thoughts for a long time, born of a sense of inferiority and a lack of self esteem and reinforced by the fact that I have had long periods of unemployment.

I have known intellectually that depression is indiscriminate, but when I hear of high profile figures battling it, it scares me more, which I know is a weird reaction. But if people with adoring fans and apparent financial security, with all the opportunities and resources inherent in that can't find help to deal with their depression before they take their own life, how am I meant to find my way out of my own depression? 

I know that it is a rather selfish way to think about it, and of course I feel sadness for the Frightened Rabbit's fans and Scott Hutchinson's loved ones. They are dealing with something that no family ever wants to experience. 

Sorry if this has been incoherent, but it was just what I was thinking this morning.