Musings and scribblings

19. May, 2018

The Royal wedding is obviously a great day for those that actually know Prince Harry and Meghan Markle on a personal level, but it's been a great day for me too. 

It's refreshing to have a day where the majority of the news is about how much a couple love each other, after all of the negative events happening in the world right now. What with the issues of Brexit, the Paris Agreement, Windrush scandal, the Iran deal and other things that can inspire hatred and fear. 

I have felt a sympathy and empathy for Prince William and Prince Harry ever since the tragic loss of their mother, and can still remember clearly watching the two of them walking alongside their grandfather, uncle and father behind their mother's coffin, while photographs were taken. I was only fifteen at the time, and didn't fully understand why they had to do that, and being in awe of them for being able to find the strength. I couldn't imagine losing my mother, and wondered how the brothers would heal from such a loss. 

I was glad to see the unfolding of Kate Middleton's relationship with Prince William, and was one of the many who rejoiced in their wedding. That he had found someone to share a committed and loving relationship with him, after suffering that loss. 

I know that a lot of people were hopeful that Prince Harry would find the same, and this day has proven that he has found someone who shares his sensibilities and priorities, as well as the fact of a deep love existing between them. I'm just going by the looks that have been recorded as passing between them, ever since their first official outing before the press. 

It was lovely to see the blending of the couple's different cultural influences such as the Archbishop of Canterbury and the head of the Episcopal church giving the service. There was a definite difference in the way that they presented themselves and their religious beliefs, but I personally found the Episcopal preacher's sermon to be inspiring and powerful. 

It was refreshing to see guests and performers who were other than white as well. As a mixed race woman, I have never seen so many faces who share my skin tone and that of my father's participating in and attending a Royal wedding. 

17. May, 2018

Theresa May has finally announced that she and her government will be releasing 400 million in funds to assist councils in removing dangerous cladding of the type that contributed to the horrific fire at Grenfell. It's a positive step in a lot of ways, but I, and many people are questioning whether the amount will actually be enough for all of the affected towers to have the work done. 

Another question is why has had it taken so long for this to happen? The residents who survived have been pleading for something to be done for months, and most recently were left disappointed by Theresa May's reaction when she met with them. One of the people she met with actually referred to her as 'being on another planet'. 


12. May, 2018

I had never heard of Scott or his band before the news broke yesterday of his passing. I can however relate to him a little bit, obviously I didn't know anything of his personal struggle apart from what has been related by those that knew him over twitter.  Everyone who battles with depression and mental illness has their own story, and experiences that might have led them to that point. He seems to have been able to use his own experiences to help others, reaching them through the band's success. 

I obviously can't speak for anyone else, as you can never truly know what is happening inside someone. Even if they confide in you, there will be some things that they can not relate or verbalise to anyone. I know that for myself, I attempt to help people to keep myself connected to the world. The depression that I feel is very isolating, and I have to try even harder because I have never been the most communicative person. I have been a insular person since childhood, and have never really been able to break out of that, despite my siblings being very talkative people who try to get everyone in the family talking all the time. 

I have been dealing with my own depressive thoughts for a long time, born of a sense of inferiority and a lack of self esteem and reinforced by the fact that I have had long periods of unemployment.

I have known intellectually that depression is indiscriminate, but when I hear of high profile figures battling it, it scares me more, which I know is a weird reaction. But if people with adoring fans and apparent financial security, with all the opportunities and resources inherent in that can't find help to deal with their depression before they take their own life, how am I meant to find my way out of my own depression? 

I know that it is a rather selfish way to think about it, and of course I feel sadness for the Frightened Rabbit's fans and Scott Hutchinson's loved ones. They are dealing with something that no family ever wants to experience. 

Sorry if this has been incoherent, but it was just what I was thinking this morning.  

10. May, 2018

I continually think that I'm not going to be surprised by anything that Trump does, as he blunders through the hopefully short tenure of his presidency, but then he does something else to scare me deeply. I don't really understand his thinking behind this move, I know that he has been saying that he was going to do it for a number of months but to go against those that are supposed to be knowledgable about Iran, to 'keep his promise' is madness. 

What is he hoping to achieve with this move? It doesn't make the USA really seem like a stable and reliable ally, even if he is trying to appease his daughter and the Israeli goverment. Some commentators have referenced the fact that the breaking of the deal by Trump is short sighted, which is something that almost goes without saying when referring to Trump's actions. 


19. Apr, 2018

The scandal of the treatment of the Windrush generation coming to light has shocked me. It's a scary thought for the country at large, that our government is filled with people who are prepared to treat their law abiding citizens in such a manner, but on a personal level it makes me physically sick. 

I am the daughter of a man who came from Kingston, Jamaica in the 1960s. He was fourteen when he arrived, and his brothers and mother were also here. He has always been a productive member of the community, working first as a Methodist minister, and then as a Careers Adviser, until his retirement. His brothers also have consistently been in paid employment, one working at a airport in the Midlands, and his youngest brother being a highly respected member of local government in London. 

There obviously was a chance that one of them could have had their information destroyed in 2010, under Theresa May's direction. Thankfully they avoided that particular fate, but it's fairly safe to believe that a lot of the people who suffered the uncertainty about their immigration status were in similar jobs, and had put down solid roots within their communities, having families and social connections over their long residencies in the UK. 

The attempt by the Prime Minister to push the blame onto the Labour Government, claiming that the destruction of the documents was under their direction would be laughable, if it wasn't so dangerous. She doesn't seem to be able to take responsibility for negative actions, within her party, when it is in her control to stop them. 

I actually thought that she could be a good leader, but now I am not so sure. Her decision to launch the missiles in Syria without seeking agreement from other MP's and then this scandal coming to light don't leave me with a great respect for her decision making process.